I really did – when I was younger – make perfect chocolate chip cookies. Now they just turn out flat. Oh, they’re still absolutely delicious, don’t get me wrong. No one who eats them complains at all. And my homemade one bowl brownies are to die for too. I’m a pretty good cook, especially of sweet treats.
So, I don’t know why I can’t replicate the perfection of the ccc (let’s just shorten chocochip cookies). Maybe I don’t care how they look. Maybe I don’t care how I look in the face of presenting sub par looking treats. I think perhaps I’m just old enough to know NOT to care.
Raising kids is extremely challenging and there are so many factors that cannot be controlled, especially as they grow up and become people YOU can’t control. At some point I think I realized I wasn’t a perfect Mom and was not raising perfect children. I was a human being doing the best I could raising other human beings who will do the best they can in this world. I can’t protect them anymore. I can’t make a perfect world for them anymore. I had to let one kid go way too early and now my other is wanting me to let go too. Well, this is the “letting go” part of my life so I suppose, no matter how sad this may make me, I must accept it and move on.
I mean, the ccc are still delightful – they just look ummmm old and sunken in. Well, I’m not there yet – old and sunken in – but I am trying to let go of those ideas I had when I was younger. Thoughts of perfection, strong convictions of all those things I would NEVER DO have turned into knowing there is no such thing as perfect anything and when you say “I would never do that” life has a way of proving you wrong.
Here’s to a soft, gooey, ccc and a straight up square of homemade brownies.