Napping with the Dogs

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It occurred to me recently that I am indeed getting older. Well, these things happen to all of us, right? But it’s how it happened that I think is funny enough to share.

Was it….

The lines on my face that I know are there but choose to ignore? No, those don’t bother me for the most part. They’re a map to my soul and I’ve earned each one of them. Although, I suppose there are a few I could do without.

The creeping up of those few extra pounds that no matter how hard I try DO NOT go away? Nope, that just continues the same body image issues I’ve had all my life. Why change that now? I’m an expert at “Body Issues”.

The strands of grey that I diligently color?  Funny about those – I recall a time thinking that I wouldn’t color my hair and just let it go grey. After all, au natural tends to be my way. That idea didn’t fly with me once they started to come in so on goes the color. The few grey eyebrow hairs? OK, I’ll admit, that bothers me a bit. Tweezers please.

My children grown? No, I spent many years raising children. Some of those years contributing to the above grey hairs and worry lines. Those days are done for me and I’m looking forward to what’s next.

The animals collected while the kids were growing up? Yes, all four of them are going grey along with the two people left in the house. It’s not really this, we just all nap together on Saturday and Sunday afternoons.

Overall, I don’t mind my age. I’m smarter and wiser now. I know my boundaries and I know my limitations. I’m not afraid to speak up for something I want. Or to speak up when I don’t want a person or experience in my space.

What really got me the other day and made me KNOW I am creeping up in age was while walking the dogs with my winter coat, hat, and gloves on, protecting me from the cold north wind blowing off of Lake Erie, I passed a teen with shorts and a t-shirt on. I said hello to him as we passed and asked him, wasn’t he cold? His reply was, “No, not at all” It was in the 40’s and my hands were numb. I knew at that moment I had arrived at old-ladyville.

Outside My Window

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The forsythia tree that has burst into its’ yellow brilliance fills my heart this morning as I open the curtain. This is a cutting from an original tree my mother planted many years ago. An offshoot of that tree has followed me every place I’ve lived in the last 25 years. I think the original one is gone – I can’t bear to look. My mom is gone – I can’t bear to look. The love and security of knowing your Mom is there and loves you (for she may be the only one) is gone – I can’t bear to think of it at times.

But life is about moving on. Carrying that piece in your heart and in your soul as you forge your way into a world that is different, that is missing something. Life is good though. New blossoms, new seasons, new people to love and cherish, new ways to move ahead. A new beauty in knowing that love is real and real love you know when you see it and feel it – when you open the curtain and it’s there and takes your breath away.

Spring!

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Words Cannot Describe…

To smell the wet ground where just a few weeks ago endless piles of snow stood guard now give way to green shoots.

To hear the birds talking to each other and perhaps to us as well.

To hear the birds that sound familiar, telling me the sun is getting higher on the horizon, as well as the birds whose chirps I don’t recognize.

To see the blue sky which looked so dreary for so long.

To feel the warmth of our nearest star on my face and arms.

To ride down the path and see the trees awaiting the perfect time to reveal their new spring collection of green foliage.

To hear the spring peepers, unexpectedly, along the trail.

To have the wind in my face while riding my bike, reminding me that I can always feel like a kid.

To be able to try and tell the world what a beautiful Spring day feels like.